On October 31st, 2008 Ella had been back at BCCH for 3 days. That stay started with a series of tests which landed her in the critical care section of the ER. But by Halloween, she was already well settled into her room, a very spacious room actually, on 3M. That's where Ella and I spent a month together, day and night.
By some stroke of luck, Ella was the only patient in that room that normally could fit two patients. And that was perfect, considering I stayed by her side at all times. A small pull out chair, uncomfortable as can be, was soon replaced by a fold-a-bed. It was not the Ritz by any means but we managed. There was a TV, and we had a rocking chair which was pretty much dedicated to us. Oh, and a private bathroom too :) Luckily, there was also a small kitchen about 30 steps away from her room, equipped with a fridge, micro-wave, toaster and good things like milk, fruits, juices, bread and cookies.
Ella's dad came by daily. One of us would make the Starbucks run (venti chai latte and venti non-fat latte) and get the paper. Those days were filled with play time, rocking, reading and finger holding. It was also a chance for me to catch up on my sleep (I insisted on feeding Ella myself during the night for a good portion of the month). Sometimes we had dinner together with Ella. And several times a week, I'd get a home cooked meal.
October 31st remains a very important day in my mind. It was the day that Ella had her first "scary" procedure. It would normally be an easy one, but because she was just a baby, she had to be intubated and sedated for that one. Ella was having her first CT scan, in hope of trying to pin point the source of her trouble. We'd been cancelled twice already in the previous day and though I was anxious for it to happen, I was disappointed that it was on Halloween.
When we had been in Montreal, just days before, my mom had presented Ella with her very first Halloween outfit. I have to admit that on the spot, I was a little bit annoyed at my mom because I was looking forward to picking out an outfit for Halloween for Ella myself. But now, 5 days later and back in Vancouver without my family to support me, I felt blessed by my mom's love and her gift. It would have been impossible for me to shop for an outfit. And the fact that she had made me feel so much happier on a day where there was tremendous stress associated with Ella being intubated and sedated.
After Ella came back from the scan and was resettled in her room, we got a bit of a surprise. There was rumbling in the hall and giggles were heard... It was the Halloween parade! Patients and staff - all dressed up - were strutting their stuff in the hallway and poking their heads in where ever possible to cheer everyone up.
And that's when my mom's gift came in really handy. I quickly proceeded to dress up Ella. The costume could not have fit her more pefertly. And it was a zip up, with a little hood. Perfect for a babe that has 02 tubing around her! Hot, definitely, but oh so cute. The cutest and sweetest pumpkin of them all!
Soon, we had nurses and other staff knocking at our door. And then, people we did not know, people who had heard of the cutest, sweetest pumpkin and wanted to say hi :)
As I visited 3M yesterday with Linda, chaplain at BCCH, I felt a twinge in my heart and tears in my eyes. We stopped by the nurses' station to drop off a Halloween outfit. A little dalmatian outfit for a baby on 3M. An outfit that is perfect for a baby that has tubing and that can't be too dressed up. A dalmation cape, with mits and booties. A simple gift from Ella to parents who are unable to get an outfit for their first baby's Halloween... A gift that equates what my mom did for me last year...
And as I entered the ward, it all came back to me. The month we spent on 3M. The many nurses who were taking care not only of Ella, but of me. The fun times we had with Ella as a family but also withour friends who came to check in on us. And as I walked by her old room, I was floored... It had been a very long time since I'd been on the ward. And though I remembered exactly where her room was, I could not remember its number. There, in true Ella form, was her old room, room #27 (if you've seen my previous blog, you'll remember that Ella's all about number 7, always). I left the hospital with a smiling heart, thinking that whenever I feel down for whatever reason, Ella picks me right up!
And today, as I presented Ella with her new Halloween outfit (a set of pink angel wings, a tiera and a magic wand), I thanked my baby girl for giving me will, the love and the energy to pay it forward.
ELLA - Everyone Loves Little Angels
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