Invincible

As I start this note, in exactly 9 hours, it will be 4 months... 4 long lonely months since Ella earned her wings and took to the sky. I was thinking about that specifically this morning as I drove to go see my baby girl at the cemetary. Yes, I still go spend time with her where she is layed to rest, every day. I know I don't have to, but I need to right now, just as I spent so much time with her on the day she left us, and the day after and after.

As I was pondering how quickly time flies, this song came on the radio. The host had said it was a new hit so I started paying attention. As I processed the words, my brain screamed "that's me, that's me!". I felt it was all about me, about my pain, about Ella and how she watches over me, always. I just started to ball...

Here are the lyrics of that song which overtook me with the strongest emotions. I have no clue what brought that author to write it in such a way, but I completely can relate to every word.

CHANTAL KREVIAZUK - INVINCIBLE

I thought I had the right day, but I was in the wrong place.
I tried to open a door, but got it slammed in my face.
I'm at the back of the line, feels like eternity.

Well, they tell me I'm gettin' close, but I know I'm still far.
You can dress me up, but you can't cover my scars.
I've become a professional at hide and seek.

I'm a danger to myself.

I can take a wrong turn, you're right behind me.
Crash and burn, I know you'll find me.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

I can call your name and you'll come running.
It's pouring rain, you'll make it sunny.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

Want to be part of the cure, but I'm part of the disease.
I can chase butterflies, but I get stung by the bees.
Sometimes I think too much, forget my clarity.

I bought every self-help book that I could fit on the shelf.
Too many Downward Dogs, they can be bad for your health.
I don't know who I am, so much for therapy.

I'm a danger to myself.

I can take a wrong turn, you're right behind me.
Crash and burn, I know you'll find me.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

I can call your name and you'll come running.
It's pouring rain, you'll make it sunny.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

I'm not the same old girl, no.
I want a brand new world.

I can take a wrong turn, you're right behind me.
Crash and burn, I know you'll find me.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

I can call your name and you'll come running.
It's pouring rain, you'll make it sunny.
As long as you're here, I'm invincible.

I thought I had the right day, but I was in the wrong place.
I tried to open a door, but got it slammed in my face.
I'm at the back of the line, feels like eternity.

http://www.myspace.com/chantalkreviazuk