5 months of grief... and gratefulness...

As I started this blog last night, I was staring at 5 months... well almost. It was 5 months at 8:07 am today, the 27th....

5 months of crazyness, emptiness and denial...

5 months of wishing I could turn back time...

5 months of struggles to keep my head...

5 months of wanting to salvage my relationship while realizing it, too, needs to take its natural course...

5 months of constant doubt about how this could have happened...

5 months of trying to honour your memory...

5 lonely months without holding you, my baby girl...


As I reflect on those 5 months, I can't help but be grateful...

Grateful for my family's love, support but more importantly for my family's health...

Grateful for your dad's family: their love, their support but most importantly the fact that they are also in good health...

Grateful that I am able to grieve...

Grateful that I am able to cry...

Grateful that I am able to laugh...

Grateful that I am able to look at a baby and smile...

Grateful that I can offer some support to an angel mom who needs a long distance hug...

Grateful that I am alive...



And lately, I find myself grateful for different reasons...

Grateful that I am able to slow time down to breathe deeper and more intently....

Grateful that I am able to appreciate every moment for what it brings...

Grateful that some time in October there will be answers...

Grateful that my desire to live... and to be a mother have not left me...

Grateful that you send me signs that I am able to recognize...

Grateful that I feel you with me, always...


5 months ago... I held you for the longest time... and for the last time...

5 months ago.. I embraced every moment you gave us... every ounce of the fighter you had in you...

5 months ago... I said so long to my baby girl... and hello to my Guardian Angel...