Six little words.

Six little words.

"I am so proud of you"

"I am so proud of you", she said in a soft, smiling voice. Her eyes gleaming, and gently moistened, it appeared, just as mine definitely did. 

Those six little words I have heard often. But, in that moment, none were more poignant to me than hers.

Her name is Sarah. She is young, full of life. She only has known me a short time.

She never knew Ella.

She is part of my adopted family in Vancouver. Or is it adoptive family?

The kind that cheers me on. Fundraises with me. Supports me.

 

I am grateful for her words. They mean the world to me. Because I know she meant it.

I know she is proud of me. Of what I have achieved.

But each time I hear those six little words, I feel like a fraud.

That pride that my loved ones and friends have for what I do, what I have achieved, comes from one simple moment in life.

From one single situation.

From a dark place.

My daughter died.

Today, August 7, 2017, would be Ella’s 9^th birthday.

What would she look like? What would her laugh sound like?

What would be her favourite band or singer? And movie? 

Would she love horses, as I do? Or still sleep in the same position her daddy did, as she did when she was just a newborn?

So many unanswered questions have built up in 8 years and 4 months since I lost Ella.

But one thing is true. And real. 

Ella has inspired, enabled and given me the strength to help others. And by the same token, commemorate her.

So on Ella’s 9^th birthday, I say ‘’I am so proud of you’’.

I say it outloud. To myself. In tears.

Because as much as it hurts, I know it to be true.

And I say it to you, my PVNH family.

To each and every one of you who today are being fierce.

Are being brave.

Are shining a light on PVNH.

"I am so proud of YOU"!

#BecauseIcan #BecauseIdo #BecauseItsTrue