As I started this blog last night, I was staring at 5 months... well almost. It was 5 months at 8:07 am today, the 27th....
5 months of crazyness, emptiness and denial...
5 months of wishing I could turn back time...
5 months of struggles to keep my head...
5 months of wanting to salvage my relationship while realizing it, too, needs to take its natural course...
5 months of constant doubt about how this could have happened...
5 months of trying to honour your memory...
5 lonely months without holding you, my baby girl...
As I reflect on those 5 months, I can't help but be grateful...
Grateful for my family's love, support but more importantly for my family's health...
Grateful for your dad's family: their love, their support but most importantly the fact that they are also in good health...
Grateful that I am able to grieve...
Grateful that I am able to cry...
Grateful that I am able to laugh...
Grateful that I am able to look at a baby and smile...
Grateful that I can offer some support to an angel mom who needs a long distance hug...
Grateful that I am alive...
And lately, I find myself grateful for different reasons...
Grateful that I am able to slow time down to breathe deeper and more intently....
Grateful that I am able to appreciate every moment for what it brings...
Grateful that some time in October there will be answers...
Grateful that my desire to live... and to be a mother have not left me...
Grateful that you send me signs that I am able to recognize...
Grateful that I feel you with me, always...
5 months ago... I held you for the longest time... and for the last time...
5 months ago.. I embraced every moment you gave us... every ounce of the fighter you had in you...
5 months ago... I said so long to my baby girl... and hello to my Guardian Angel...
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